Fantasy Football Metrics

Cleveland Browns

Dynasty-Fantasy “He’s Just Not That Into You”: Rob Housler

Twitter @FFMetrics

Same opener as yesterday, if you care to skip it:

The other night, I was watching TV with my wife when the movie “He’s Just Not That Into You” came on some random cable station. If you’re a guy, and you have to get caught into watching a ‘chick flick’ this isn’t the worst one you could get stuck with.

The premise surrounds a girl who cannot understand why guys aren’t calling her back after first dates, when they say that they will. She waits by the phone, and does things out of desperation–constantly checks to make sure the line is working (back before cell phones took over the universe). She calls and leaves crazed messages to see if the guy had tried to call her, etc. etc. It’s actually 4-5 dating/relationship stories converging together with some big-name actors playing in the various vignettes. It’s not the typical sappy, everyone wins in the end, love story.

An NFL player name popped up on the football news blurbs this week, and it made me think of watching “He’s Just Not That Into You”…because I’m the desperate girl/guy pining away for this player, who everything that is happening (or not happening) in their NFL journey is shouting to me that my enthusiasm for them is folly…that my Fantasy-love will be unrequited. Yet, I continue to make excuses, blame the coaches, and concoct scenarios where I pound the desk saying this player really is an All-Pro waiting to happen, but the player is so far off-the-grid, and no one in the NFL cares—it makes me look like an idiot. I’m wasting Dynasty roster spaces, potentially.

It’s time for me to admit, “He’s Just Not That Into You”…or more to the point: ”He’s never going to pay-off for Fantasy purposes.” It may be time to delete this player’s number from my phone book, and assume the worst and move on…and not keep hoping for the best, and taking many of you all down with me.

Let’s look at a few players this week (one each day) that it is time for me to give up on (but secretly I won’t because I’m stubborn)…

Today’s break up: TE Rob Housler, Free Agent/CLE

On paper, I could argue that Rob Housler is the most athletically gifted Tight End in the NFL…and if I am wrong, it would be by much.  In 2011, Housler ran a 4.55 40-time with a 6.90 three-cone…he’s arguably faster/quicker than Melvin Gordon…but he’s 30+ pounds thicker, and stands 6’5”. He also can out leap (37” vertical) most RBs and out bench them (22 reps) as well.

It’s not that Housler is a former basketball player with great measurables who is trying to stumble into the NFL. Housler was a four-year, on purpose Tight End for Florida Atlantic from 2006-2010. He was the 69th pick in the NFL Draft in 2011. Housler was supposed to be something.

He got stuck on the Arizona Cardinals, one of the worst draws for a TE prospect of all-time. He joined the team in 2011 as Kelvin Kolb disintegrated, followed by John Skelton floundering as a rookie thrust into a starting role. In 2012, Kolb was getting his act together, and Arizona was winning, plus Housler was showing signs of life…and then Kolb got injured for good. Skelton and Ryan Lindley shared time in relief, and Housler (and the team) died.

In 2013, Arizona brought in Bruce Arians as head coach. The notorious ‘care less about the TE in the passing game’ coach. Housler was cooked. He actually had a stretch where it looked like Arians was using him as a quasi-WR, and things were starting to percolate in 2013. However, in 2014, Housler was barely targeted (nor was any Cardinals TE).

2015!!! Finally!!! Housler is a free agent! He is free to any team who wants him. In an era of no great Tight End prospects coming in from college, and the established NFL Tight Ends constantly getting hurt…here’s Rob Housler available to one and all! Ready to take the Green Bay or Atlanta offense to another level! I was sure he’d be snapped up in a minute during free agency.

Housler is still available.

He’s visiting Cleveland for the umpteenth time as of this writing.

Someone is going to draft Maxx Williams in the top-40, but didn’t even kick the tires on Housler. Why do I bother caring? I’ve been waiting for Housler to be unleashed…to join a team with an established QB, and make the Cardinals regret underutilizing him. However, no one cares about Rob Housler in the NFL…like I do.

I am the fool.

I was hoping for a Housler-Aaron Rodgers, or Housler-Matt Ryan type of Fantasy connection in 2015. Instead, I am getting the vaunted Josh McCown to Housler ‘nothingness’. It’s time for me to give up, flip my cards into the middle, and fold. There will never be a Fantasy payday on Rob Housler.

Maybe, I am the problem. Perhaps, I cannot evaluate TEs properly…and maybe Richard Rodgers and Eric Ebron are the future. Ha. I was laughing as I typed that.


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