Fantasy Football Metrics

Football Offseason Amazon Talk…(7.0) *Fire Gone


Twitter @FFMetrics

(Same opener as every week, skip if you’ve already read…unless you did not follow the instructions blindly last time…) It’s the football offseason, kinda. Football activity never ends between free agency, the NFL Draft, and then the start of mini-camps. Football is the gift that keeps giving. However, in the offseason I try to write about some more non-football-related items. One of things that I enjoy sharing, with anyone who will listen, are the weird things I am buying on Amazon.

I am an odd shopper. Several times a week, it seems, I will get lost in a thought about ‘why don’t they make a…‘ or ‘I wonder if some built a better…‘. Most times, I go on Amazon and there exists something I was curious about – mostly things I didn’t realize existed and 9 times out of 10 they are cheaper on Amazon than anywhere else. Most of these things you cannot find in a traditional store. And who wants to go to a store anyway?

I also am proud to promote the better mousetraps that have made my life better/easier. So, to help promote products I think some/many can benefit from, and to write about something nonfootball…and to be sure you remember to use our Amazon link to make your purchases – let’s talk some Amazon.

Please consider saving our Amazon page as your ‘favorite’ for your Amazon quick access after you do a click through on our link…because we get credit on your every purchase and it doesn’t change your experience one bit. (After clicking our link, you’ll be at your normal home page, but if you look up in the long URL and see ‘fantasyfootballmet’ and or ‘fantasyfootballmetrics’ among all the characters and symbols…then you’re at the right place – save that page as your Amazon favorite and you’ll never have to search for our link again. Just click your Amazon/FFM favorited page.

This 30-second act means the world for us, so thank you for considering!! I’ll include our link at the end of every product review/recommend.



The product you hope you’ll never have to use…

I have two teenage boys…and let’s say that they are not the most cautious cookers of food. Whether it’s frozen pizza in the oven or my son that cooks some weird stir fry thing while he’s watching stuff on his phone. Irresponsible people + flammable things are going on inside the house I pay a mortgage on. That’s a key reason why I searched out this product.

I won’t say that my hand-eye coordination NOT improving with age as I cook a bunch on the stove top didn’t cross my mind either…and I’m probably as irresponsible as my boys trying to multitask while I cook stuff. My multitasking is just more…important…in my mind.

It may have been something I saw on the news or on a TV show, but something about a kitchen fire, yadda-yadda got the responsible part of my brain thinking – what would I do if a grease fire broke out on my stove top or oven? I gave the same answer my kids did when I asked them…”Go to the kitchen sink (five feet away) and grab the spray nozzle and aim a stream of water at it.” It sounds dumb as I type it…but that was our plan — because we had no plan. I asked my kids to answer quickly when I surprised them with the question…because I wanted to simulate the time pressure the decision would be under if it happened real life. The missing part of our answer was “…and hope it (the water spray) reached.” It’s not like we tested our theory on a trial run but I don’t think the water sprayer we have would have enough force or volume to do much of anything. Our plan was dumb…and probably wouldn’t work if we tried. Not a great plan.

I realized we had no real plan. Yet, I have great door locks. An alarm system throughout the house. Health insurance. Carbon Monoxide detectors. I have lots of safety measures I’m doling out money for. However, in the most likely area for a fire…I have no first line of defense — besides a sink sprayer that may or may not reach its needed target. I needed to button this situation up for peace of mind. So, I immediately thought of buying a fire extinguisher for the kitchen.

There are lots of options for fire extinguishers on Amazon, for sure. I was about to buy one when I noticed this product in an aerosol can-looking container blended in with the extinguishers. It was cheaper than a fire extinguisher, but had great ratings and looked easy to use. I watched videos on it and read the reviews and decided it had to be better than my other plan…nothing.



I went to buy one, but I saw how inexpensive a six-pack deal they had was – so I got six of them. Why not? I could have two in the kitchen in case one failed or two people were there to battle a blaze. I can put one in the car. One goes in the bathroom where hair drying and curling of hair takes place. I have one in my office – if some wire went awry or a cell phone melted down and started a fire and my computers went up in smoke – I’d be screwed. At least, I have a shot at defense with one of these cans in my office. I feel like I’ve gone from no plan to having smart plans in several places in the house.

I haven’t had to use one so I cannot tell you how they work. I just went by the demonstrations online and reading reviews.

Ask yourself, “What is my plan if a fire breaks out in the kitchen or wherever in my dwelling place?” If you have no good answer but have kids…pets…or any things you don’t want to be burnt – I’d put this bug in your ear to do something. A fire extinguisher…or these cheap, easily portable options. Maybe give one to an elderly parent(s) who might have trouble handling a fire extinguisher?

If you’re under 25 years old or so, you’re probably thinking “A fire is never gonna happen…probably.” If you’re a middle-aged responsible guy or gal (with no fire extinguisher or plan for the kitchen or car, etc.), I probably just hit you with a sucker punch just thinking about what you’d do and how many people and things are at stake from something that can happen so quickly.

There are cheap solutions to this on Amazon…cheap in the sense that, as always, Amazon prices beat local stores most times AND they have way more variety. I’ve never even seen these in a store.

I need you to stay safe to buy more draft guides and such for the next few decades, so think about it. Can you believe the 2017 draft guide launch is like 60 days away? Man does football time fly.





Prior 2017 recommendations:

1.0: 2017 Amazon (1.0)…TENS Unit

2.0: 2017 Amazon (2.0)…Back Seat Cover for Dog

3.0: 2017 Amazon (3.0)…Hand Held Fan

4.0: 2017 Amazon (4.0)…Smart Bulb

5.0: 2017 Amazon (5.0)…Smart Scale

6.0: 2017 Amazon (6.0)…Smart Fan



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About R.C. Fischer

R.C. Fischer is a fantasy football player analyst for Fantasy Football Metrics, and College Football Metrics. His group also provides player projections for Advanced Sports Logic’s football software “The Machine.”

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